User Profile

Well, I guess it was time that I put this down.

Here are the basics:
Work: St. Louis County Special School District, Early Childhood Specieal Education Teacher's Assistant
Education: A graduate with a BA in Human Services from Fontbonne College now University "Go FU!" and am currently attending ITT Tech expecting to graduate in Dec 2007 with an associates in Multimedia
Family Basics: Mom, dad, brothers Rudy(married with 2 daughters, one of which is engaged, and a son), Gee(married with 2 sons that I love but seem to be watching at the drop of a dime - just call me the family back-up worker) and Chris.

For those of you that don't know, my name is Maria and I live in St. Louis, MO. I've lived here for approx 20 years, but sometimes I still feel like I'm visiting. I grew up an Air Force brat so I don't have those childhood friends that many people have, and that's one thing I wished I had considering I still have issues maintaining friendships. I can make them pretty easily, but I'm still learning how to keep them, it's too easy for me to just stop talking and that's really sad b/c even after all this time, I don't think that I've really learned that I won't see someone again, and if you don't see them again what's the point of maintaining a friendship, right? It's times when I catch myself doing this that I have to mentally slap myself upside the head and just hope for the best.

I have 2 brothers that I grew up with, Rudy and Gee, one I met for the first time last spring(2006) and another one I'll probably never meet. I still live at home with my parents but have plans to move in with a friend of mine at the end of Aug2007. I also seem to be permanently single.

A few years ago, I was diagnosed ADHD and clinically depressed. It really sucks that, on top of the typical issues one has to deal with being the daughter of a recovering alcoholic and constantly thinking that I can think my way through personal issues on my own, I need drugs to help my wirering fire correctly. Doesn't always work, but I guess I need them.

But don't worry, it's not all bad. There is a major benifit to my ADHD and that's an ability to compartmentalize. I can really enjoy myself when I set out to b/c frankly, I forget all the sad stuff for awhile. I love writing when I can focus enough to do it, but then I have to work at unfocusing myself so that I can do other things like eat and sleep. This also goes for things like reading or playing with Photoshop and can be a bit of a pain sometimes, but can also be a great stress reliever when I don't have to worry about school projects or the like.

I think my biggest strength is an ability to be objective about almost anything and take full responsibility for all my actions. Unfortunately, this can be a weakness, b/c if something goes wrong then I have no one to blame but myself for letting things I percieve as controlable to happen.

I could probably go on about how I've decided that wearing my heart on my sleave and acting a little 'off balanced' (What fun is being 'normal' when that never got me anywhere?) but right now I'm just happy to have put something down here.

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